It was tough to choose, but the entry by SLR was for me, the winner.
11/12/2009 2:07 PM
I'm incredibly grateful for being clean for 5years and 4 months. My life was really shameful at times because of my drug and alcohol use. Now, I have tools and practices to use. I don't need to seek relief outside of myself. I have a great support system of fierce, strong (angry little girls) women in my family, friends who have shown me how to grow emotionally, spiritually and creatively with integrity. I'm learning to have compassion and forgiveness for myself when I don't measure up to my own expectations, and not to distract myself from the successes I can bring into my life, by criticizing or fixing the lives of others. I may not have gotten rid of all my anger making patterns, but I'm aware and have a clarity I wouldn't have if I were using drugs. I'd be stuck in the same place in my life, with the same people doing the same stuff. I'm not..!
It's difficult for loved ones to understand addiction and how completely one can surrender their lives to it. So trust me when I say, it is truly a miracle when anyone chooses to see the destruction of it, and it is confirmation of some higher power if one takes a step toward doing anything about it.
So I thank everything that ever was, is, and will be. (Don't want to miss anyone)
Today I have a close relationship with my mother and sister and it's getting better. I'm able to make good decisions about my behavior and I see many positive outcomes.
Now, don't get it twisted, I'll still get all up in yo *ss if you mess with me or my peeps. But I will clearly address the conflict and seek resolution first.
(One warning shot over the bow-Then prepare to be be boarded !!! 8-)
Angry little black girl - Hollywood, California